The Hills: Showdown At Ketchup

ORIGINAL EPISODES, MONDAYS @ 10PM ON MTV

Honestly, does Heidi even know what's right or wrong anymore? That question by Elodie (Heidi's co-worker who she back stabbed to get the promotion) really sums up everything about Heidi over the last couple years. It's really sad that she can stab all her friends in the back and still, through everything, not have any clue that she's done a single thing wrong. Elodie was so right in telling her that all her friends (and listing them for Heidi) no longer to talk to her and that Heidi doesn't even realize that she's done anything wrong. The shear volume of people that used to be friends with her, but are no longer, should tell Heidi something but apparently Spencer has been just too great an influence for her to even notice.

Now, it's only been a half hour since the new episode aired and already I see that many of you are looking for information on Jason's new girl. I recently took a trip to LA with my girlfriend where we stayed with a friend of hers in West Hollywood. Her friend works for a publicity firm and informed me that Jason is 100% engaged to this new girl that will make a first appearance next week. I will do my best to get some more information about her for you and if you want to know anything specific leave me a comment and I'll see what I can find out.

Needless to say, I'm sure most of you feel pretty dumb right now (as would I if I didn't know about Jason's fiance' a while ago). He comes back from jail and rehab and seems like he really has it all together. And you probably thought, wow this is the kind of Jason that Lauren could be happy with. Well, even with the information I already knew I sort of thought the same thing. But then again can a Zebra really change his stripes? He totally led Lauren on and made her think they could get back together, have a much more stable relationship, and next week she gets to meet his fiance'; not cool but really, we should have expected this from him.

I really feel bad for Lauren because most of the time she shows such great judgment. She just can't say no to Jason. It's sad and like I spoke about in last week's review, the girls on this show love the bad guy and can't stay away. By the way, notice how Lauren fully admits this in the beginning of this episode.

Well, let's get back to the biggest story of this episode - Lauren and Jason's encounter with Speidi (Spencer + Heidi). Spencer is really that guy that we all wish we could kick in the face. He just can't help being a jackass. The fact that he walked into the restaurant and had to say something shows just how sleazy he is. But more than that, Speidi is even worse. There was absolutely no reason they had to send over those drinks. Did they really expect Lauren and Jason to accept them? I thought it was funny that they actually thought it was rude that Lauren sent the drinks back. It would have been great to see Spencer and Jason go out it outside the restaurant.

AND the absolute greatest thing is that we FINALLY know for sure that Heidi spread the rumors about the sex tape. Granted we all knew she did it except now she all but flat out admitted she spread the rumors when she said "Maybe they're back in the movie making action." Speidi needs to break up already (which they actually are as my source informed me); the world doesn't need these two horrible people working together.

The ONLY thing I have agreed with Heidi about in the last 2 years is that Lauren should be nowhere near Jason. How she can go back with an addict and felon is beyond me. Sure he has the bad-boy allure but this is too much. Hopefully next week she'll finally get over Jason when she meets his fiance'. Here's hoping...

The Real World Sydney: Whining and Dining

ORIGINAL EPISODES, WEDNESDAY'S @ 10PM ON MTV

Dunbar = Dumbass. That's the moral of tonight's story. He comes to Sydney and within 24 hours think's he's a pimp because two girls in the house like him. One of them he treats like dog shit and the other he starts falling for. As it turns out the pimp is nothing more than loser. Parisa does like Dunbar in the beginning but he treats her so badly that she starts to hate him. Then Kelly Anne, who Dunbar actually starts falling for, not only tells him flat out that she has zero interest in him but is actually getting a crush on his roommate Cohutta. On top of all this, the idiot walks around the house day-after-day spouting out sexist and moronic lines that just make you ask what in the world he is thinking before he says these things. Obviously he's not thinking all that much but it still makes you wonder what is wrong with this guy. In tonight's episode he spouts his view on religions based on a paper he once wrote for a class in college and nothing more. That sure must be one well developed opinion from the three days he spenting thinking about it.

The guy just doesn't seem to get it. He treats women like they're inferior and then when he doesn't get his way he goes nuts. He actually ran across the room after fighting with the girls and kicked a large box into the wall. Very mature; I'm sure his parents will love watching all this and not to mention his girlfriend back home. She must be so proud. Then Dunbar tries to get simpathy because his childhood was messed up which is supposed to explain why he's sexist, immature, and goes insane when he doesn't get his way. That just too convenient an excuse to work here. Oh and by the way, Dunbar couldn't have acted more jealous about the guy that sent Kelly Anne flowers. He needs to get the hint that he has absolutly no chance with her.

Speaking of Kelly Anne, she is totally falling for Cohutta no matter what she says. Granted she went on a date with another guy but that's because Cohutta hasn't made a move yet (wisely done) and besides, she even said she was thinking about Cohutta the entire date anyway. Can you believe this guy spent $277 on his first date with Kelly Anne?! That's crazy! Who spends that much on a first date. I get the idea that you want to impress the girl but that's a bit overboard. Cohutta finally made a move at the end of the episode when he jumped in bed with Kelly Anne. Definitely getting him some that night although the episode cuts out before we get to know for sure. Good for him but he shouldn't get too attached; she'll only like him so long as he doesn't show he likes her back.

Isaac was hilarious this episode. When he left the porn magazine for Dunbar to try and get him to chill out I was dieing. That was a great call by Isaac and is probably part of the reason why Dunbar is so uptight, he needs to "relieve some stress."

Did anyone catch Isaac attempting to moon Parisa while Dunbar was attacking her again in the kitchen?Leave some comments, see you next week.

Grey's Anatomy: Season 4 Preview

I found a season 4 preview for Grey's Anatomy. It answer's a couple questions about returning cast members but not much more than that. Only 2 weeks left until the premiere and if I find out more I'll let you know.

Damages: We Are Not Animals

SEASON 1 ORIGINAL EPISODES, TUESDAY'S @ 10PM ON FX

I'm not really sure how I feel about this episode. I sat down to write this review the night of the airing and I just couldn't do it. While I liked it, I'm not sure I loved it as much as the previous episodes. Most of all, it did not live up to the hype from last week's previews. The previews made it feel like we would have these amazing revelations after watching the episode. Although some things were surprising I didn't feel like it was groundbreaking or earth-shattering. Worst than that it just wasn't as exciting as usual. While it answered some questions it left many more unanswered and I felt like I would at least have one or two of the big questions answered.

We find out that Patty had something to do with the attack on Ellen at her apartment; or at least it seems that she did. Ellen gets attacked, her fiance' killed, and the very same day Patty is missing. Then Ellen points out for us that only Patty knew she was at her apartment that night which means Patty will either have a great story to tell or she is very guilty. Personally I think she was involved just the same way she was involved in the murder of Katie's dog earlier in the season. And at the end of the episode we find out that Tom may be involved too!! Now this I didn't see. I had a feeling he would betray Ellen but I didn't think he would ever have had anything to do with the attack. Now my gut is telling me that he and Patty for some reason set it up together. Tate Donovan has done an amazing job on the show this year. I was afraid I'd see Jimmy Cooper (The O.C.) all season but he really has developed this character nicely and changed some of his mannerisms.

A big moment in the beginning of the episode revealed that Ellen did not kill her fiance' David. Not that I ever really believed she did or could, but we now know for sure that she didn't which reinforces my theory from last week that the stalker Lila (the daughter of David's patient) is the one who murdered him.

One of the things I like the most is the dynamic between Patty and Ray. They're on opposites sides of this massive case and yet somehow they sort of show respect for each other even if it's never said. Patty doesn't respect anyone except for herself but when she's in scenes with Ray I get the feeling that she respects his abilities as a litigator. I like that there's at least one person who she feels is a worthy (or somewhat worthy) opponent.

The one thing that kills me is the stupidity of the police (and possibly the writers) in this episode. They decide to arrest Ellen officially based on her fingerprints on the murder weapon, the fact that she's covered in blood, and was found near the scene. The problem is that if they tested the blood on her they would find out it wasn't David's and she was at her apartment because it's her apartment. And OFCOURSE her fingerprints were on the murder weapon, IT WAS A GIFT TO HER AND IN HER APARTMENT!!! You can't arrest someone based on fingerprints alone being present on the murder weapon when the weapon was in the person's own home and was a possession present in the home before the murder; there is no way based on that to prove she used it to kill him since its equally as likely that she just held it other times. You would need a lot more than that for an arrest and the writers dropped the ball on this one.

The whole Patty/Tom/Ellen triangle baffles me. I still don't understand what the big deal is between them. Patty wants Tom to herself and Tom likes Ellen but can't say no to Patty. But I don't get why Patty is so anxious to screw over Ellen. She used her to get to Katie and I understand she may need to use her again but I don't see why she feels its necessary to screw with her life. She could just as easily get what she needs from Ellen without doing that. I guess we'll find out sooner or later what exactly her motivations are.

I have to tell you that I think Ellen is amazing. I wish I were as smart as she is. As a lawyer myself I know how impossible it is to write a perfect brief on any topic and she was able to do it on the first shot earlier in the season. And now she so easily sees through Tom's rhetoric and is able to set him up to get to Patty. It was great to see her get a little revenge against the people that underestimate her.

I can't wait to see where Patty is hiding out and what actually happened that day. On a side note I was a bit disappointed that we didn't have any appearances by Arthur Frobisher (Ted Danson) this episode. He brings such a great and creepy feel to the show that he really should be there every night. In the meantime, leave some comments and theories on what will happen, I'd love to read what you think.

Saving Grace: Everything's Got A Shelf Life

SEASON 1 ORIGINAL EPISODES, MONDAYS @ 10PM ON TNT

This week's episode was far and away the best of the season. Finally the writer's got the hint that we need some more compelling stories to follow and less of Grace half naked on top of a new guy.

Last week I mentioned that the show lacked a compelling storyline linking each episode to each other. While it still lacks an overall storyline (other than the basic premise of Grace needing to be saved) the show is far better when the cops are on a case that is thrilling and interesting. Last week they tracked down a killer soldier and touched on issues connected to the War in Iraq. This week Grace and the other officers tried taking down a drug dealer and his crew. The opening got the episode off on the right foot as we watched Grace, her fellow detectives, and the Swat Team swarm the home of the suspected drug dealer. It was intense, exciting, and exactly what this show should be all about.

The truth is that this show is MUCH better when the focus is NOT on the wildness of Grace. Her character's tendencies are certainly compelling and the core of the shows purpose but they're more poignant when they aren't the only thing we're watching. In fact, Grace is much more likable when we watch her doing her job and doing it well with interjections of her wild personality. As I watched Grace handle the drug dealer and his crew in a few face-to-face confrontations I was impressed by how smart and crafty she can be. Then when her wild side came out I didn't mind it as much as I did when I had to watch her drunk and having sex for half the episode. It was actually nice to see Grace working out when she couldn't sleep in the beginning of the episode rather than downing a 12 pack of MGD.

It was funny when each of her partner's fought over who would stay the night with her when she passed out on her couch the night after being shot in the raid. Obviously we know why Butch and Ham wanted to stay but I was a little surprised that Bobby wanted to say also. I guess she has a way about her that gets all these guys wrapped around her finger. She needs to open up to Butch though. He made her a great breakfast after staying the night when he didn't really have to and all she did was tell him that she usually skips breakfast. She totally dissed his attempts to get closer with her. She's much better off with Butch than she is with Ham, not only because Ham's married but Butch just seems to be a bit more together than Ham. Anyway, this group affection for Grace is becoming a very interesting dynamic on the show. Watch out though, Ham and Butch will likely come to blows over her at some point; how can it not.

A great thing in this episode was that the outcome wasn't as telegraphed as some of the events last week. I mentioned that in my review last week that the writer's tend to telegraph outcome's and it hurt the show. They did show flashes of intelligence in the past (i.e. when Grace's boss was shot in the head by his own son without any foreshadowing in episode #2) and in this episode they showed they could do it all the time. I never saw the Grandma as the drug dealer. Maybe I'm naive but I just didn't see the Grandma being the city's crack lord.

Did anyone else think Grace looked much better all cleaned up at the end of the episode? It was refreshing to see a different side of her. Although in the uniform she looks ridiculously tiny.

See you all next week for the Season 1 Finale. If this week is any indication we can expect even better writing in the last episode of the season...

The Hills: Jason Returns

Original Season 3 Episodes, Mondays @ 10PM on MTV

Well, well, well... Where should I begin? I guess the best place to begin is the same place we leave off every week; what in the world are these girls thinking?

I get it, I do. I understand that when you're in a long relationship and you "fall in love" (as these girls say almost every time they have a boyfriend) that it's hard to get over your ex and you go back sometimes. BUT how do these girls keep getting mistreated by the same guys and keep going back again, and again, and again?! Jason was in rehab!!! He made Lauren miss an unbelievable opportunity the other summer to go to Paris for her internship. He cheated on her multiple times. He's assaulted people and cops (from what I've heard in the news). How is she still going back to him? If someone can answer this for me it would be greatly appreciated.

And it's not just Lauren. Audrina and Heidi are the same way. Heidi doesn't need any explanation; she's got engaged to her dumbass. I really thought Audrina was smarter than this though. Justin is a loser and treats her horribly...but he said he was sorry so I guess it makes it all alright. Audrina needs to stopping saying she's just going to be friend's with Justin and realize that's just not going to happen. You can't feel this strongly for someone and just be friends. Lauren was right that Audrina really only likes the good Justin and "you can't like just half a person." On a side note did anyone catch the plumber's crack Audrina was sporting on Justin's motorcycle? Not cool...

Despite the fact that these girls disappoint us each and every week in their choices the biggest disappointment is Lauren. Not only is she stunningly gorgeous but she's the favorite reality star of many young girls (she won the Teen Choice Award this years for favorite female reality star). What example does this show when she's willing to go back again and again to this kind of guy? Aside from the example, as a fan it's disappointing to see such a smart girl make such dumb decisions sometimes.

I do need to mention the double date that Lauren and Audrina went on with their trainer, Jarett, and his friend, Derek. It was very weird when Derek was all over Lauren telling her that he's never liked anyone as much as her. It was the first date and that's just too desperate. Then he just got creepy when he was talking about being a stalker but trying to show that he's not a stalker. It was just weird and Lauren's expression here pretty much sums up this guy. I have a feeling Lauren won't have the "one-date-curse" for very long.

Now...to Heidi and Bolthouse. How has her boss not run this company into the ground? I've never seen a more clueless employee than Heidi. We've seen her stare into space more times than we can count when she's been given something to do. We saw her disobey her instructions time and again last year. So to promote her over Elodie boggles the mind. Clearly he was thinking about the publicity on MTV and not about the best course for his company. Too bad for Heidi it won't last past the end of the show (although it's alright because I hear she's putting out a hip hop album with Spencer as her producer; good luck with that). And on top of all this she got the job by stabbing her friend/co-worker, Elodie, in the back. Yet another friend Heidi has screwed over. I'm sensing a trend. As usual Spencer was there to support her in her trashy actions.

THE DEVIL'S SON

So the ladies of "The Hills" continue their antics and next week only looks to get better when Jason and Lauren end up at the same restaurant as Heidi and Spencer. Now I'm not a fan of Jason at all but I would thoroughly enjoy watching him kick Spencer's ass if it happens; the boy needs it.

How I Met Your Mother: The Slap Bet

From time to time through the airing of the September Premiere's I will be posting some video clips to do one of the following: convince you to watch a good show you're not watching, to get you hyped for a new show, or to remind you how great the shows you already watch were last year.

So here's video clip #1. "How I Met Your Mother" is one of the best comedy's on tv and if you haven't watch it yet you MUST start watching this fall. The third season premiere will be on Monday, September 24th @ 8PM on CBS. This was a storyline from season 2 that will be carrying over through season 3 and beyond. It shows up at random and is damn hilarious. The clip doesn't fully explain the bet but I think you get the point. Plus you could always buy/rent the second season DVD when it comes out in a few weeks. (please ignore the subtitles but this was the best slap bet video I found)

Jericho Season 2 News

I noticed that many of you have been searching my blog for news on "Jericho" lately. The only news I have right now is that it will be a midseason replacement. Generally this means that it could come back any time during January or after. This will depend on the ratings for CBS' other shows. When it does come back, CBS will only be airing seven new episodes.

Fall 2007 Premiere Schedule

Tuesday, September 11th

8:00 PM

The Biggest Loser (NBC)

Saturday, September 15th

11:00 PM

Mad TV (FOX)


Monday, September 17th

8:00 PM

Prison Break (FOX)
Deal or No Deal (NBC)

9:00 PM

K-Ville (FOX)


Tuesday, September 18th

8:00 PM

Beauty and the Geek (CW)


Wednesday, September 19th

8:00 PM

Back to You (Fox)
America’s Next Top Model (CW)
Kid Nation (CBS)

8:30 PM

‘Til Death (Fox)

9:00 PM

Kitchen Nightmares (FOX)


Thursday, September 20th

8:00 PM

Survivor: China (CBS)


Sunday, September 23rd

8:00 PM

The Simpsons (FOX)

8:30 PM

King of the Hill (FOX)

9:00 PM

Cold Case (CBS)
Family Guy (FOX)

10:00 PM

Shark (CBS)


Monday, September 24th

8:00 PM

How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

Chuck (NBC)

Dancing With The Stars (ABC)

8:30 PM

The Big Bang Theory (CBS)

9:00 PM

Heroes (NBC)

Two and a Half Men (CBS)

9:30 PM

The Bachelor (ABC)
Rules of Engagement (CBS)

10:00 PM

Journeyman (NBC)

CSI: Miami (CBS)


Tuesday, September 25th

8:00 PM

Bones (FOX)
NCIS (CBS)

9:00 PM

House (FOX)
The Unit (CBS)
Reaper (CW)

9:30 PM

Boston Legal (ABC)
The Singing Bee (NBC)

10:00 PM

Cane (CBS)
Law & Order: SVU (NBC)


Wednesday, September 26th

9:00 PM

Gossip Girl (CW)
Bionic Woman (NBC)

Private Practice (ABC)
Criminal Minds (CBS)

10:00 PM

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC)
CSI: NY (CBS)
Life (NBC)


Thursday, September 27th

8:00 PM

My Name Is Earl (NBC)
Smallville (NBC)
Ugly Betty (ABC)

9:00 PM

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
CSI (CBS)
The Office (NBC)

10:00 PM

ER (NBC)
Without A Trace (CBS)
Big Shots (ABC)


Friday, September 28th

8:00 PM

Ghost Whisperer (CBS)

9:00 PM

Las Vegas (NBC)
Moonlight (CBS)

10:00 PM

Numbers (CBS)


Sunday, September 30th

7:00 PM

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC)

9:00 PM

Desperate Housewives (ABC)

9:30 PM

American Dad (Fox)

10:00 PM

Brothers & Sisters (ABC)


Monday Octber 1st

8:00 PM

Everybody Hates Chris (CW)

8:30 PM

Aliens in America (CW)

9:00 PM

Girlfriends (CW)

9:30 PM

The Game (CW)


Tuesday, October 2nd

8:00 PM

Cavemen (ABC)

8:30 PM

Carpoolers (ABC)


Wednesday, October 3rd

8:00PM

Pushing Daisies (ABC)


Thursday, October 4th

8:30 PM

30 Rock (NBC)

9:00 PM

Supernatural (CW)


Friday, October 5th

9:00 PM

Friday Night Lights (NBC)


Friday, October 12th

10:00 PM

Men In Trees (ABC)


Thursday, Octover 25th

9:30 PM

Scrubs (NBC)

The Real World Sydney: Wet and Wild

SYNDEY ORIGINAL EPISODES, WEDNESDAY'S @ 10PM ON MTV

The latest installment from those crazy kids at The Real World brings us more crying from the girls, more flirting from Kelly Anne, and more fighting with the boys. The only topic you could really start this review off with concerns Kelly Anne. She’s been the center of this show pretty much from the beginning of the season (with some breaks for Parisa’s moaning and groaning) and is yet again the center of this one.

Kelly Anne needs to just chill out. The girl needs a cold shower or a trip to Alaska in those shorts she wears 24/7. Her hormones are running wild and she’s almost out of control. Although I think we can all agree that Cohutta is a MUCH better choice than Dunbar ever was or could hope to be. Dunbar treats the women in that house like crap and just really isn’t as cool as he thinks he is; but more on him later. Admittedly, Kelly Anne is damn cute. She has that innocent look to her plus a killer body. But when you get to know her you realize that any feelings for her are a waste. She only likes a guy when he shows no interest in her and as she said last episode the second a guy likes her back she’s done. This explains why she’s falling for Cohutta. The guy, whether he knows it or not, is playing her exactly how she likes. Every time she tries to get close to him he shows absolutely no interest which makes her want him that much more.

What kills me though is how she can kiss Cohutta,








jump in bed with him,








and then call her ex-boyfriend and basically tell him straight off all about it. And this is after she talked to Trisha about it for 10 minutes and they both decided she shouldn’t say anything. Then she cries when her ex-boyfriend doesn’t want to hear it. WTF?!?

Sadly, it’s not just Kelly Anne; all the girls in that house are constantly going back and forth with the same issues, deciding the best course of action, and then acting the complete opposite of what they decided. Shauvon knew she would fly off the handle at any guy in the house she started arguing with because she was upset about her break-up with her fiancé; YET she still goes crazy when Isaac supposedly dropped her while playing Twister. Parisa talks over and over again about how bad it would be to have feelings for Dunbar but she keeps going back to him and getting jealous over his former flirty relationship with Kelly Anne. It’s enough to drive a crazy man nuts!! These women need to realize what they’re doing and take their own advice for once.

Props to Cohutta though for playing the relationship with Kelly Anne perfectly. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing the night vision footage of the two of them in his bed sometime soon.

Now for Isaac. The dude is just creepy. He’s got that look like if you talk to him the wrong way he’ll pull a gun out of his jeans and shoot you in the leg. He just doesn’t look sane and he definitely showed that tonight. Anytime a girl gets hurt and you had anything remotely to do with it you better apologize because you know you’re going to get the blame and its not going to end until you say you’re sorry. Instead, he decides to call her a slut and a whore, slap the water out of her hand, and throw a drink across the room in her direction. Not only that but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a worse apology in my life. While apologizing to Shauvon, he managed to call her a slut, whore, and c*nt, all in the same sentence! Damn good job of screwing that one up Isaac.

One last note before I wrap this up. Did anyone notice Kelly Anne’s shirt at the end of the episode. If you think it’s possible for a guy to have a trusting, solid relationship with this girl you’re sadly mistaken.

Her shirt reads, “You were never my boyfriend.” Nough said…

Saving Grace: Yeehaw, Geepaw

SEASON 1 ORIGINAL EPISODES, MONDAY'S @ 10PM ON TNT

What do I have to say about Saving Grace? Well, to start I have to admit I expected a lot more from the show. Although it has the general theme of Grace being saved by her Angel “Earl”, there is no consistent theme running through every episode for viewers to get attached to. Maybe if there were some sort of particular issue that Grace had to work on or an event she had to work through then alright. But just the general idea that she’s on the wrong track and needs to turn her life around doesn’t really mean anything to me unless I have something to see her work on. That’s the basic element lacking in this show.

At times I have to admit that I love Grace and other times I can’t stand her. Honestly, do we really need to see her having raunchy sex with random and non-random guys in EVERY episode? Granted it’s her characters nature but it’s getting old and a bit boring. Holly Hunter does bring an interesting perspective to the character and a certain charm but I really can’t decide yet if I love her or hate her. Only time will tell I guess.

This episode was definitely one of the better written episodes this season though. We got a great secondary story and a great primary story. The secondary story dealt with Grace and her fellow officers discovering a torched body in the middle of a deserted area buried in a shallow grave. We find out the body is that of a soldier who just returned home from Iraq. This was a great idea on the part of the writers because before this the cases Grace followed were not all that interesting. But the overtones of “should we or should we not have gone to Iraq,” what soldiers are like after years of war, and how they’re received at home, all played a part in this story and made for a great and thought provoking episode. Grace and the boys eventually figure out that it was the father of the dead soldier’s best friend who killed him because he blamed him for his son enlisting and eventually getting killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq. Decent storyline all around…

The primary story dealt with Grace’s family relationship’s and in particular those with her sister and her grandfather (“Geepaw”). As it turns out Geepaw has Alzheimer’s and it’s only getting worse. It’s just an awful disease and no one deserves it; Grace agrees but even Earl can’t get her to yell and complain to God about it. Grace is utterly devastated about the condition of her grandfather and for the first time you can really see her struggling with the choices she’s made and her belief’s on religion and God. It was nice to see things starting to progress a bit in touching upon the purpose of the show.

The epitome of what’s lacking in this show occurred towards the end of the episode. It was unbelievably telegraphed that Grace would ignore her family and take her grandfather horseback riding despite his deteriorating condition, leading to his fall off the horse and significant injuries. The writers just aren’t working up to par and they play stupid games with us. Shock value does not equal good writing and its terribly transparent how much the writing has been lacking all season.

The last thing I’d like to mention is Grace’s relationship’s with Ham and Butch. I sort of felt all season that Grace’s character has much more chemistry with Butch than Ham. I just don’t see the relationship with Ham at all. Most times he just looks like a bumbling doofus while Holly Hunter and Bailey Chase (“Butch”) have a deep chemistry that just works. So what happens? Butch and Grace hook up again – they had a relationship prior to the time when the show takes place. Grace needs to get rid of Ham and stick with Butch; but I have to give it to Butch, he was 100% right when he said “she’s dangerous.” You can totally get burned by Grace because half the time she doesn’t even know what she’s doing.

Anyway, we have two episodes in the first season. The writer’s better pick up the quality or I don’t know if I’ll be able to watch past this season…

Damages: She Spat At Me

SEASON 1 ORIGINAL EPISODES, TUESDAYS @ 10PM ON FX

I guess the starting point of this review should be a plea to everyone reading it to start watching this show immediately. It had a small amount of promotion the month before it's premiere in July but other than that it's relatively unknown by most people. I started watching it mainly because of the great cast (Glenn Close, Ted Danson, Tate Donovan, etc.) and thankfully I did. It is by far the best new show in a couple years. It combines the best of all worlds: suspense, thrill, mystery, drama, and controlled intensity. It constantly surprises you and keeps you asking "what the hell is going on?" (It's similar to "24" and "Lost" in those respects)

This episode was no different. We're at the point where we know enough to know that whatever we think is going on is not what actually is going on. But what we do know is that Ellen was attacked at Patty's apartment and the body was removed by someone. Everything else is still up in the air. You may be thinking we know that Ellen didn't kill her fiance', Noah. While I think that too, looking at it objectively, we just don't know for sure that she didn't yet. And that's what's so great about this show. Every time you think you know what's going on and who the bad guy is you're surprised to find out you were very wrong. The heart of the show lies in the fact that no one is all good and all bad; that everyone is some mix of both. We don't usually get that in TV shows; we usually get one or the other in the characters. So when you watch this show you love it even more because you never know who to trust and it makes it that much more interesting.

So when this episode starts we don't find out much more about the missing body in Patty's apartment. The police confirm that there was no body which begs the question, where'd it go and who took it away? My bets on the guy helping Frobisher control the evidence in the case. Unfortunately, this episode doesn't really give us any new direct clues in the way of what happened the day of the murder. We do get a few indirect clues but that's about it.

Ellen and Noah start having relationship problems which turns out to be a big storyline. At first it's not really apparent why and what connection it has with all the events. I do have a question to throw out there (semi-rhetorical but I'm curious anyway), how come someone in a relationship always runs into the arms of another whenever there's a few bumps in the relationship road? Noah and Ellen haven't even been fighting for very long and he's already willing to go too far with Sarah (his patients VERY flirty granddaughter). The truth is though, that Ellen is pushing the limits of her relationship too far. She is blindly following Patty without questioning anything. For such a brilliant girl she certainly is very naive. I guess people always see what they want to see. Obviously this is going to be a big factor in the Ellen's problems later on.

I was actually a bit shocked at Ray's dreams. That storyline really came out of nowhere. That's probably the only negative I could bring out about the series so far. They should have brought his issues and possible involvement in everything out before, even if a little at a time. It felt like they were forcing is role on us very quickly, too quickly. Not only that but they're freaking gross. I don't mind odd stuff but watching blood and a tooth spill out of Ray's mouth multiple times is not my idea of fun. But anyway, we find out that he clearly had a homosexual relationship with Greg, which is somehow leading to the nightmares he's having. How this all played into the case and the murder's who knows, but it'll be interesting to find out what happened in Florida between them and how it's connected to everything.

Meanwhile, we were thrown a major curve ball tonight. Sarah probably had something to do with Noah's murder. I totally did not see this coming. I would have bet anything that the murder had to do with the case. I may be wrong but it seems like Sarah is a psychotic, stalker and the murder of Noah was an unfortunate coincidence in all this. Clearly she was in that apartment when Noah was killed otherwise she wouldn't have stolen his keys and told the police they were hers. Also, the police had said there was no forced entry a couple episodes ago and this would explain why. I also want to point out an interesting fact. In the first couple episodes when the cops went to Ellen's apartment, a pigeon flew out of the bathroom because the window screen on the fire escape was open. But when Ellen and Noah first moved into the apartment we see the screen was closed and the pigeon standing outside. So how did that screen get open now? Did someone come in through that way? Interesting...

I have to say though that Noah cheating on Ellen with Sarah shocked me. Or at least that's what Sarah said happened, so I have to take it with a grain of salt considering she's psychotic. In all this though, the most interesting character is Patty. At times she seems like a normal person with great intentions (even though she's obviously pretending at times) and then she is willing to murder dogs, have witnesses followed by men with guns, etc. I'm really curious to see exactly what her intentions are because I can't believe it's simply to win the case or to make money. She's deeper than that.

In the preview for next week we're told all the pieces are going to come together. I CAN'T WAIT! It's going to be great. My money's on a big revelation about Patty...

The Hills on MTV: Rolling With The Enemy

SEASON 3 ORIGINAL EPISODES, MONDAY'S @ 10PM ON MTV

This show is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine. I was a fan of the original Laguna Beach cast and especially "L.C." a.k.a. Lauren, so when she moved to The Hills I kept watching. Over the first two seasons the show was generally alright but usually inconsistent. This season though has been great and Spencer and Heidi never fail to provide material on the stupidity of people.

First off, Lauren was completely right about guys in the beginning when she said Justin was basically playing Audrina. Too bad Lauren can never follow her own advice when it comes to guys (ummm Jason...).

Does anyone notice that every time Heidi is given something to do at work she has a look of shock on her face? It's almost like she doesn't understand English when it comes to her having to do something. She gets this spaced out look and never looks her boss in the eyes. It's damn hilarious and explains a lot about her relationship with Spencer.

One of my favorite moments in this episode was Audrina's talk with her co-worker Chiara. I've always said the same thing about girls and this conversation typifies what I've always said (as a generalization). Generally girls love the bad boys and just can't get enough of them even when she knows he's wrong for her. Audrina describes her relationship with Justin as a roller coaster - she likes him and hates him. So when Justin treats Audrina like crap for two years she still goes back again and again because "roller coasters are so fun." I personally don't get it, it's not like Justin only does stupid things. He actually treats her like crap. So why does she keep going back for two years? The guy ditched her in Vegas for god sake!

On a side note, what was Spencer thinking growing a blond beard? He usually looks like the devil and that just isn't helping anything. Also, give it up for the white guy with the blond fro at Les Deux. Good stuff.

Overall Brody has the best attitude about the whole situation right now. He just wants to have fun with whoever is around and not worry about any high school fighting. I think Lauren has been starting to think the same way which is the only way they should be acting. Although I'm starting to get the feeling that Brody is acting so laid back to compensate for something. Heidi tells us at the end of the episode that Brody spread the sex tape rumors but she couldn't possibly have had a more guilty look on her face if she tried. The truth probably lies somewhere in between; Heidi and Brody probably spread the rumors and each of them is blaming it on the other.

When did Audrina decide to date Justin again?! Out of nowhere she's getting ready for another date. It's starting to piss me off watching these girls go back to the guys who treat them so terribly and justify it by saying that there are times when they're treated great. It doesn't equal out!!! Does Justin remind anyone else of Matthew McConaughey's character "David" in Dazed and Confused? If you never saw that movie check it out...with the exception of hair color I swear they're he same person. Lo (glad to see her back this year) was 100% right that after 2 years of on and off dating and 4 months of dating now Justin should be Audrina's boyfriend. Clearly Audrina just doesn't want to hear it.

I find it ironic that Spencer is talking about loyalty to Brody. When Spencer first started dating Heidi her best friend was Lauren, but he did everything he could to break them apart. Apparently loyalty only matters to Spencer when it's about him. Brody is in the right on this one, even if he is shady himself. By the way, I don't really get what Spencer's job is. He sits on the couch with a computer all day and no paperwork. Unless his job is searching for porn he's definitely mooching off his parents.

Lastly, Spencer needs to chill on wanting Heidi all to himself. She mentions that she's having lunch with someone else and he has this look on his face like she shouldn't ever be able to speak to anyone other than him. It's pathetic and just goes to show that she should have stayed broken up with him last season. Anyway, her lunch with Jenn was ridiculously awkward and it's really sad how messed up Heidi has gotten. She treats her friendship with Lauren like it was no big deal and that Lauren's the one with the messed up priorities. Not true at all. Everyone knows Heidi has been awful to Lauren since the day she started dating Spencer. How easily Heidi forgot all the times she ditched Lauren last year.

Next week Lauren may be meeting up with Jason again. God help us all...

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Entourage Why Do You Always Leave Us So Soon?!?: Season Finale Review

SEASON FOUR FINALE, SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 2nd @ 10PM ON HBO

As I sat down to write tonight's review I was debating how to write it up for you. On the one hand I could throw down just my thoughts and leave it at that. Or I could copy everyone else on the Internet and review scene by scene everything in the season finale. But to be honest I always find the scene by scene reviews annoying. Unless I haven't seen the show why do I need someone to write down the entire episode for me? So I'm going to go with a straight up review with a mention of a few scenes here and there.

Let me start by saying I LOVE THIS SHOW! I truthfully don't understand why HBO keeps airing short seasons for this show (with the exception of Season 3; but even that season had an 8 month break between its first and second half). It's one of the best comedies on TV today and I just can't get enough of it. Apparently, HBO doesn't feel the same. Wouldn't it make more sense to air more episodes, bring in more viewers, and charge a higher price for the DVD's?

With my rant out of the way, this was one of the better episodes over the first four seasons. It had everything - comedy, drama, old characters, and best of all, Drama having 3 hours of sex on the beach and then smiling when he realized a large mass of people had been watching. Drama is great! So the boys try to sell their movie at Cannes and as I predicted months ago, the movie tanked. It's obvious that "E" knows his stuff. He's the most level-headed of the group and always looks at things objectively. Add to that, the fact that he's not insane, a.k.a. Billy, and you have the guy you should be listening to. Rest assured though that the writers will probably get "E" and Vince all their money back. Harvey may have only paid $1 for the movie but they can still get their money back, and more, if people go to see it at the theatre. I can't imagine they'll be broke for too long.

A couple things that were fantastic in this episode. First, Turtle getting a blow job at Cannes in the first couple hours they're there. He needed it. Turtle never gets the love - whatever happened to all the date's he was going on with Kelly, Rufus' daughter? It was also great when Lloyd was getting a mimosa out of the ice sculpture of a giant penis. Lloyd never fails to make everyone laugh and from what I hear (from a friend in LA) he is just as funny in real life.

Entourage you will be missed. While I watch the network comedies this fall (that suck in comparison) I will be eagerly awaiting next summer's season. As soon as I find out the start date for season 5 I will let you all know. Until then...Le Victory!...